8 Simple Tips To Develop A Charismatic Personality Instantly

Maria Tariq
4 min readFeb 16, 2021

Have you ever wondered how some people just walk in and cheer up the whole surroundings? We have come up with super fun and interesting tips to win friends and influence people. After reading them, you will feel more charismatic and self-confident.

Another thing to note is that these tips will not only help you in your outer personality development. Besides, they will complement your inner personal growth too. All these tips are fun, tried, and tested.

1.Conversation Ratio

Listening is a creative force to become good at communication skills. We all need a friend who listens to us. So be the person you want to meet. An ideal conversation ratio is 75% listening and 25% speaking. Always maintain kind eyes and a warm smile. Relate the conversation to something they told you earlier like their father’s health or any life goal. Avoid the “Me Too” syndrome. No, I do not mean that Me Too Movement. It means that do not forcefully stuff yourself in every conversation. Because it is not about you, it is about them.

2.Active listening

This is the continuation of the previous point. Cultivate the art of active listening. In the words of Bernard Baruch, an adviser to US Presidents, Woodrow Wilson, and Franklin D. Roosevelt: “Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones who do more listening than talking.”

Here are a few points to note while conversing.

I. Non-verbal Communication

Some pointers to note are:

  • Smile
  • Eye contact
  • Open body posture
  • Nodding
  • Mirroring (imitating the gestures of the person in front)

II. Verbal Communication

  • Use non-reinforcement words

For example: yes, I understand.

  • Questioning

Don’t interrupt but clarify

  • Reflection

Repeating or paraphrasing.

  • Clarify

Summarize the whole conversation.

  • Listen to the tone of the voice

It will help you reply accordingly.

3.Ice Breaker Jokes.

Famous actor Jim Carrey once said, “I’m most attractive when I laugh at myself. No friendly conversation is complete without humor. Instead of pulling the leg of anyone else, crack jokes on yourself. It makes people feel that you are comfortable in your skin. They see the human side of you and relax the whole group immediately. Having a good laugh at yourself will make you truly charismatic.

4.Remember The Names.

Do you remember the German fairy tale, “Rumpelstiltskin”? In that tale, the princess had to guess the name of Rumpelstiltskin to give up the claim on her child. So, when she reveals the name, Rumpelstiltskin instantly returned back.

This trick will help you in real life as well. Calling someone by their name will create power over that person. So, develop the habit of remembering names.

5.The Secret Tip

In his book, “The Psychology Influence of Persuasion” Robert Cialdini talks about the scarcity principle. It states that when something is in shortage, it becomes attractive. So, you can relate to this in the friendship. Tell a trivial secret or weakness of yours to your friend. In this way, they will trust you.


  • Do not tell anything in which you are uncomfortable sharing.
  • Be honest. Tell your own secret only. Avoid backbiting or gossiping.

6.Respect Other Opinions.

A person becomes more likable when they can talk about a wide range of topics. Develop an interest in various things while being sensitive and respecting other people’s preferences.

7.Be Helpful.

If you analyze a genuinely nice person would be always helpful. If anyone will be stuck in a problem, they know to call that helpful person. So be original, kind, and caring. Not to show off but for your spiritual growth as well.

8.Art Of Saying No

A confident person has the subtle art of saying no politely but firmly. So, if you do not feel like going somewhere politely say no to them. By saying I am sorry I have another commitment.

Try ingraining these tips in your personality gradually. And one day you will be an epitome of healthy confidence.